Pariah, written and directed by Dees Rees, tells the story of Lee, or Alike, the daughter of two parents in a dysfunctional relationship, as she struggles to come to terms with her lesbian identity amidst the constraints of her mother’s religious ideology, and the “dad’s girl” expectations of her semi-absent father. Even though the film’s setting is in bustling Brooklyn, New York, as Adam Serwer points out in his review, the focus is on Lee, specifically her journey of “how to be.” Though Lee has accepted that she is a lesbian, with the opening sequence showing Lee at a gay club with her best friend and fellow lesbian, Laura, we find out on her bus ride home that it is her family who has not come to terms with identity. She is also navigating “how to be” lesbian, as her friend Laura encourages her to be more bold in her flirting, while she is content to stand in the back of the club and watch (Serwer). Conscious of those around her, Lee changes seats before taking off her hat, removing her men’s shirt to reveal and pink rhinestone baby tee, and finally putting some gold hoops in her ears. She does this multiple times throughout the film, changing her appearance for her family. While she wears what her parents would find acceptable out of the house, she changes as soon as she gets to school, and is constantly worried about those around her seeing her split identities, because she wants them to see her as the one she really is — a lesbian, a dyke, gay — she doesn’t care, she just wants to be herself.
“I said, I love you mom.”
“I’ll be praying for you.”
However, her religious parents who say grace every night at dinner are willfully unaware of her “gayness.” The first interaction we see with her mother, Audrey, she is scrutinizing her after she misses her curfew, and she comments on her rhinestone shirt telling her, “At least you looked cute” (Rees). When Lee brushes her off when she starts talking about taking her shopping to buy more “cute” clothes, her mother tells her she doesn’t like the girl she hangs out with, Laura; we find out later she is prejudiced against Laura’s sexuality and is worried about her influence on Lee. Alike doesn’t want to go shopping for the clothes her mother wants to shop for, and her mother somewhat knows that, as she tries throughout the film to push girly clothes and “safe” friends on her. In other words, pushing an identity she wants onto her, because she can’t accept the gay part of her identity, even though it is just one part.
“Dad, I’m not runnin’ I’m choosin’. I’m not goin’ back home”
Her father is somewhat a different story, because while he isn’t prejudiced against gayness, he doesn’t necessarily want a gay daughter, and encourages her to wear what her mother wants her to and assumes (or hopes) that she has a boyfriend when she confides in him about a potential relationship. More than anything, he is trying to appease his wife and stop her from pestering him about Alike, as Audrey tells him Lee, “needs a male point of view” (Rees). He is more willfully ignorant than hateful, and when she finally comes out to her parents during a screaming match and her mother hits her, he is the one who comes to her first and begins to learn to accept her identity. As far as we know at the end of the film, he is the only parent she has a relationship with after her coming out. More than can be said about Laura, who we see go to her parents house, where her mother shuts the door in her face as she tries to tell her about her accomplishments in an effort to make her perhaps see past the lesbian part of her identity.
“Tell her she’s right. God doesn’t make mistakes.”
Of course, every coming-of-age film must have that first “doomed romance,” and here we find it in an unexpected place. When her mother forces her to hang out with Bina, straight-presenting and the daughter of her church friend, she initially struggles against it until finding out they have similar music tastes. They slowly become real friends, and not just friends for the sake of both their parents. When Bina unexpectedly kisses Lee, Lee begins to fall for her. She hadn’t had any intimate interactions with women until now, and unfortunately, she falls harder. After a particularly intimate night, Bina becomes cold, and when Alike questions her, she tells her she was just “playing around,” and, “not gay-gay” (Rees). Even though Lee is visibly hurt by this, as she goes to leave, Bina asks her not to say anything, showing the audience that she has not yet come out, to either the world and maybe even herself. Despite this, with Bina, as director Dees Rees says, “…Alike is able to consummate who she is with Bina, she realized there’s another way to be” (Graham).
The film ends with Alike leaving to a writing college; she’s on the bus again, and this time, as herself.
“I am not broken. I am free.”
Other than the coming-of-age story of Alike, Pariah offers a lens into a complex intersection between religion, sexuality, gender, and race, yet goes through the effort of doing this while not being, as the director says, “…a monolithic presentation of black femininity” (Graham). While the film focuses on Alike, there are multiple complex black female characters that offer us character studies on different combinations of intersectionality. For example, Alike is a lesbian black woman, but she is also still firm in her faith in the end, believing that “God doesn’t make mistakes” (Rees). On the other hand, we see her mother, a straight black woman, strict in her faith, unable to believe the same sentiment in the end. We see her sister, a straight black girl, presumably also somewhat religious, accepting of Alike’s sexuality, perhaps commenting also on generational differences. And Bina, a black woman, somewhat faithful, yet her sexual identity cannot be accounted for. By others in her life, she is perceived as straight, having mentioned an ex-boyfriend and presenting as typically feminine in her fashion. Her “playing around” could be indicative of a bisexual identity, or even something else. She is still figuring it out, yet it factors into her identity because she actively chooses to hide her diverse sexual preferences from her family and peers, knowing there are social consequences to coming out; which is in opposition to Alike, who while she must hide her identity from her parents, is out to herself and her peers, and influences the way people, including Bina, interact with her. Finally Laura, who despite her identity as a lesbian black woman, seems the freest of all the black women we meet; yet we still see the intersectionality of her identities clash. Her family doesn’t accept her because she is gay, ignoring the fact she is still their same daughter. This shows us how intersecting identities affect each other, because while Laura’s mom can accept a straight black daughter, she cannot accept a gay black daughter. Sexual identity becomes the breaking point for parental love.
The intersectionality of the film is what makes it really special though, because even people who don’t identify with one category, can identify with another. There are of course viewers who may identify with all or none, but I think what hits close to home for many viewers around my age is the fear of sexual identity. I may not be gay, but I know people who are gay; and I don’t know many people who don’t have someone in their life who is gay. This story sadly mirrors that of too many others, where they have been abandoned by their parents because of their sexuality. Even though this movie came out in 2011, this is still happening today. People are forced to hide part of themselves from their families, communities, even themselves. The term “closeted” became a thing because of this very real fear of abandonment with coming out.
Producer Nekisa Cooper comments on what this movie meant to her:
“I was raised Catholic. My parents don't accept that I'm gay, but they love me. I guess that's as good as it gets, because we never have arguments. But we also never talk about it. I've been out to them since 2002 and it's still a really scary prospect to think about sitting down and watching Pariah with them. That's the intersection, of fear and hope, where this movie sits. We want Pariah to give people the courage to discuss coming out” (Focus News).
In some ways, I think the movie does give people hope; the hope that even when the people who were supposed to give you unconditional love won’t accept you because of one part of you, there will be people that do. In other ways, it paints a harrowing picture of coming out. None of the gay characters in the movie have completely healthy relationships with their family after coming out. Perhaps that is more realistic, though. While Alike does have her dad at the end of the film, that new relationship is cut short when she leaves for college, and he doesn’t get the chance to get to know the real Alike. Will he ever? Maybe it’s a reflection of Nekisa’s relationship with her own parents, that while they have a relationship, they don’t really know her because they don’t want to know about her sexuality. By ignoring the intersectionality of sexual identity with other pieces of identity, you’re missing a piece of the puzzle to who a person is.
Works Cited
Focus News. “Transforming Passion into Pariah.” Focus Productions, 2011.
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